The day everything changed, well sort of..

This something I typed up last night. I just started typing...Just some random thoughts, few laughs, and the brutal truth of how I am feeling

The previous night I had gone out with my Boss, and a close friend of ours to watch the Pats. To be honest we where all nervous as the Pats had just lost the previous two games, and where 5-3. Not something a patriot fan in the 20^th Century is used to. Back when I was a kid, 5-3 would have been friggin' amazing. Oh they won by the way, was an awesome night.

I got into work the next afternoon, just about on time, was not late, which I hate, but not very early either. The weather was cool, damp and these are two things I hate. Actually I hate most new england fall and winter. Wish I could just crawl up with a book and read the cold weather away with a book and some hot chocolate. Yeah I know not something you would expect from a 12 year army vet, but yeah we have our other sides too, I like to call it the comfort side. Plus I have been out of the Army a while, civilians softened me up, it is not my fault.

Anyway I walked in the store, busy, one customer complaining about a price, another about the long line...the normal everyday thing. It is sad actually that some people expect 5 star service at a dollar store. Now that is not to say Dollar stores give bad service but think of it. The stuff is sold cheap, bought cheaper, and the help is paid cheap. These are not conditions to expect really good customer service. However that is not always the case, Some of the staff are all about good customer service and break the mold, completely. And yes the company does have a good reputation. I will tell you the name, but only if they let me.

So I walk in walk toward the back, toss my coat in the office and hang up my hat. As I leave the office I figure I had better go to the bathroom before I hit the floor. You never know what a customer is going to ask, or how long it will take, so....I head the the men's rooms. Some where along the way my boss is b itching about something, most likely that nobody listens to him. Funny now, I have no clue what he was complaining about and I bet you I am right.

Do not get my boss wrong, he is one hell of a guy. The only reason I am still with the company. Yeah he is a pain in the ass at times, yells, screams, has lost his temper a time or two, as have I, but all and all one hell of a good guy.

So I walk into the bathroom, and have to wait a sec or two before I pee. I hate that when it happens, makes me uncomfortable. Waiting to go, makes me think gee something is not right, but I keep “Forgetting” to tell my doc .

Then...OMG, I am not sure I even breathed when I noticed it, I know I was scared shitless. Terrified , couldn,t move just watched. I watched blood, and a lot of it flowing from my dick, mixed with urine in this dark cloudy red mix. I was frozen. Just watching, scared. Waiting for the pain. The pain of another kidney stone. But...wait...none..,.No pain, what the fuck! Wondering. A million thoughts going through my mind. I stared and finally finished but had to wait a few more seconds so I did not have DDS (Dribble Dick Syndrome). Finally I zipped up and washed my hands, shaken (my hands that is) , thinking what the hell was that?

I left the bathroom and walked through the stockroom and looked for my boss, he wasn,t hard to find, all you have to do is listen and you will here him talk. Loud, booming man. I walked over and told him I needed to speak to him. Privately. I am assuming he sensed something wrong so I walked to the office he followed and asked what was wrong. I told him I had just pissed blood. I thought him being in his early 50's this might be something he knew something about. He told me it was probably just an ulcer and he wouldn't worry unless it happened again. I would love to say this made me feel better, it didn,t. I was worried/scared. He did try to get me to relax and said it had happened to him and he is fine. This from a 50 something year old balding fat and single guy. Yeah good thing he is my friend or he probably would kill me for saying that. But if it where the other way around, yeah he would say that about me.

After I spoke with him I went and got Bill another older guy, for just an idea, again looking for someone to tell me what I want to hear type thing. He asked some good questions shockingly enough. Any trauma, bumped into to anything. Nothing. He said it could be internal bleeding and I should have it checked out., That was not something I had thought of. Thanks a lot Bill, is what I wanted to say, but didn't he was concerned, probably as much as I was. So after my smoke I call my dad, who tells me, fuck that, call a doctor, get to the hospital, why are you STILL at work. The last one, yeah good question why? Because if I had left it would have screwed my boss and kept him there until 11pm, and he had been there since probably 6 or 7 am. Like I said, he is a good guy.

So I went back to work, and twice more went to the bathroom. The second the blood wasn't as heavy, but noticeable. Yup did not like that one bit. Third time was barely noticeable, but then again I was looking and hard too. I was scared, not sure what was happening. Finally the 4^th piss of the night and it appears normal. Finally! This to me means no internal bleeding. I am relieved. But WTF was it.